40 | www. Char l es tonPhys i c i ans . com | www.Hea l thL i nksChar l es ton . com “Oh, beware, my lord, of jealousy.” William Shakespeare has always been regarded as a prescient author, but this line from “Othello” rings especially true in today’s era of social media and seemingly constant comparison. Long before and long since the playwright dubbed this emotion the “green-eyed monster,” jealousy has been affecting humans in profound and complex ways. To understand more about its origins, effects and methods for treatment – HealthLinks turned to Kelly Quarles, a nationally certified trauma therapist working in the Charleston area. “We need to remember that jealousy is a feeling, not a diagnosis,” said Quarles. “We have tools to work with and through it.” While the feeling of jealousy has many synonyms – resentment and envy being among the most common – it is an emotion that stands entirely on its own. While resentment can stem from being wronged in some way, jealousy is more closely associated with envy, the feeling of discontent or longing brought on by someone else’s good fortune. Envy and jealousy may be closely-related terms, but, as Quarles clarified, “jealousy is more deeply rooted in the psyche than envy is, and it can lead to maladaptive behaviors.” Quarles, who has been a therapist since 2008, believes that normalizing the emotion of jealousy is one of the first crucial steps to reducing its more negative effects. “Jealousy is common, and knowing the emotion can actually be helpful,” she explained. “When we talk about the feelings and normalize them in therapy, then the feelings don’t have so much power over us.” In a clinical setting, Quarles emphasized, “the first thing we want to do is look at the origin of the jealousy.” Often associated with feelings of anger, possessiveness and fear, jealousy is actually more commonly rooted in self-esteem and self-worth issues. THE GREEN-EYED MONSTER: ADDRESSING AND OVERCOMING By Catherine Kauffman
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